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I Can't Believe It's Not Gambling

PC (Microsoft Windows) • 2017

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Quick resume

Do you love opening loot crates, but hate the tedious gameplay sessions in between? Our marketing department has the game for you! Unbox random items! Get stuff, but not what you really want! Skate legal and ethical lines! Remember kids, its only a video game, so grab your parents credit card!

Global score

91/100

Genres

Casual, Simulator

Pros

  • Affordable price
  • Addictive and satisfying gameplay
  • Clever satire of loot box culture
  • Customization of loot boxes
  • Active developer support

Cons

  • Repetitive and grind-heavy
  • Minimal narrative or depth
  • Buggy minigame mechanics
  • Lack of cooperative or social features
  • Can be tedious to complete achievements

Motivations

  • Autonomy
    3

    "Players freely choose which loot boxes to open and which items to keep or sell, with some strategic decisions in the minigame and collection progression."

  • Competence
    2

    "The game involves some skill in the snake minigame and managing resources, but much of the core gameplay is repetitive loot box opening with random outcomes."

  • Competition
    1

    "There are online leaderboards mentioned, allowing some comparison to others, but the main gameplay is largely single-player and collection-focused."

  • Continuation
    4

    "Many reviews mention the addictive nature and long play sessions to collect all items and achievements, indicating strong desire to keep playing."

  • Cooperation
    -4

    "Gameplay is focused on individual collection and progression with no cooperative or team-based elements."

  • Creativity
    2

    "Players can customize the appearance of their loot boxes with unlocked skins and hats, allowing some self-expression."

  • Domination
    -3

    "Interactions are mostly individual with no evidence of exerting control or superiority over others."

  • Escapism
    3

    "Players use the game as a stress relief and distraction, enjoying the dopamine rush of loot box openings without real money loss."

  • Expectation
    -4

    "Players engage voluntarily out of intrinsic interest and humor appreciation; no indication of obligation or pressure."

  • Experimenting
    1

    "Some novelty in unlocking new loot box tiers and trying different skins, but core gameplay is repetitive and routine."

  • Exploration
    -3

    "The game is limited to known loot box types and a snake minigame; no open world or discovery elements."

  • Expression
    3

    "Customization of loot boxes with various skins and hats allows players to express individuality."

  • Fantasy
    -2

    "The game is a parody of real-world gaming mechanics and does not focus on imaginative fiction or roleplaying."

  • Fellowship
    -4

    "Minimal social interaction; mostly a solo experience without community or group identity focus."

  • Growth
    2

    "Players develop skill in the snake minigame and progress through loot box tiers, gaining knowledge of game mechanics."

  • Health
    -5

    "The game encourages sedentary play with no physical activity or health-related features."

  • Idle
    4

    "Designed for long sessions of repetitive clicking and idle progression, suitable for background play."

  • Intimacy
    -5

    "No evidence of forming close relationships or emotional sharing; purely individual gameplay."

  • Leadership
    -5

    "No leadership or group management elements present."

  • Progression
    5

    "Core gameplay revolves around accumulating items, skins, hats, and in-game currency to unlock higher-tier loot boxes."

  • Relaxation
    3

    "Many players find the game relaxing and satisfying, balancing challenge and reward in a low-stress environment."

  • Sensation
    3

    "The game provides sensory stimulation through colorful loot box animations and dopamine-inducing reward feedback."

  • Status
    1

    "Leaderboards and achievements offer some recognition, but social status is not a major focus."

  • Story
    -4

    "The game lacks narrative immersion and focuses on repetitive loot box opening and collection."

  • Strategy
    1

    "Some light strategy in resource management and minigame play, but mostly straightforward repetitive actions."

  • Thrill
    3

    "Players experience suspense and excitement from the randomness and anticipation of loot box openings."

  • Value
    5

    "Highly praised for its low cost and perceived high entertainment value relative to price."

  • Violence
    -5

    "No combat or destructive gameplay; focus is on collection and cosmetic customization."

  • Survival
    -3

    "No survival or threat avoidance mechanics; gameplay occurs in stable, low-risk conditions."

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    Last update: 06/03/2026